“Have you clearly stated your expectations? Are you being realistic in what you are asking? Do you give what is expected of you?These are very deep questions that need truthful answers. Look inside! Communicate! And then decide if compromise can occur or if the expectations simply cannot be met. Then all parties involved must decide to let go or hold on”.

These questions and the inevitable decision of “staying or going” seem to seep into many different types of relationships.This is most often recognized in intimate relationships; however, issues occur within families, with friends and in job related circumstances.How does one decide to continue on through the storm or to finally jump ship?

When we each process what we truly desire, the decision may become more clear.Make a list of those desires and then place a ✓ or an ✗ designating which are being met (✓) or not (✗).This is similar to writing a list of pros and cons.When reviewing the list, one can determine if the scale is balanced (an equal amount of ✓ or ✗ marks) which may lead to further discussion and compromise.The review may reveal an unbalanced list of more ✓’s than ✗’s leading to a reality that the situation is much better than realized and deserves a chance or the opposite of more ✗’s than ✓’s leading to a realization that an ending may be inevitable.

Please realize that these lists are not the be all and end all, but a tool to help in making decisions when the questions arise.In the last example of more ✗’s, the involved parties may decide to seek coaching or counseling before making a final decision.Truly, in any of the scenarios, a third party may be necessary to assist through the decision process.

Deciding to “stay or go” is complicated and usually involves deeply felt emotions of anger, guilt, sadness or confusion. If blame is at the core, then all parties must take time to assess the situation and look into the proverbial “mirror” to ensure that stones are not being thrown at another when indeed, they should be kept for the self.

Should you stay or should you go?The final decision lies in your hands. Make sure that you “do the work” before making the decision to help in waylaying regret!

I have created a program called “Get Yourself Out of Your Way” to assist people who want to learn more about themselves, as well as, help in making life-altering decisions.

More to come on this “Personal Program of Powerful Transformation” next week!

Wishing you peace in all decisions,

Dr. Lorri