Saying "I Love You"

How often do you tell the people whom you feel closest to in life that you love them? Are you a person that feels that it is very important to speak these words or do you simply believe that "they know that I love them" and therefore do not need to say so? Maybe you feel that a healthy mixture of saying "I love you" along with actions that support the words is the way to go?

 I will not write that any of these is the ultimate of "right" or "wrong". I personally consistently tell some people in my life that I love them, while I convey love to others through actions. I do believe that in both of these instances the people know that I feel love for them....or I truly hope! I am not sure that there is a way to teach when and how often we should speak the words "I love you". I do know that it can be very nice to hear. Interestingly, hearing the words from a person who typically does not say them can produce some warm and fuzzy feelings!

A personal example of experiencing these "warm fuzzies" came during my 30th birthday celebration weekend. I was living in Ohio and quite a few of my family members came to visit. My grandmother was in her early eighties and was beginning to physically decline. I helped her into my bed and tucked her in and told her that I loved her. I had said these words to her before and typically would get a response of "me to" or maybe a smile, but on this night she actually said, "I love you too, Lor". Joyful tears came to my eyes then and returned now : ). During the remainder of her life (gram died at 91), we exchanged the words "I love you" multiple times. Please know, I always knew that my grandmother loved me. She was a tough woman, typically did not show much emotion, but was a caregiver through and through. She showed love in the ways that she knew how...cooking, hosting, providing and always "being there"! But I will say that finally hearing her say "I love you, Lor" at the age of 30 made my heart swell and even though I already knew that she had felt that love all of those years, the words somehow sealed the deal.

Are there people that need to hear these words from you? Have you told your children, your parents, your partner/spouse or your friends what you feel in your heart and soul?

 It just may be the right time to surprise someone with these sometimes over and often under-utilized words! I know that there are some people in my life that I need to surprise!

My hope for all of us is that we find the healthy balance of words and actions so that we are rarely left with the feeling of "I wish I would have...."

 With love,

Dr Lorri