Level 3 Listening

"In Level 3 listening, we are fully present and listening beyond the words. We hear, feel and understand what the other person is revealing to us from deep within and beyond words. Some might say we are able to see inside their soul. Interestingly, the other person may not even be aware of what they are revealing. A positive flow of energy is sure to occur."

Level 3 listening takes immense practice and a deep desire to want to understand another and to actually "feel" what they are saying. During this level, we listen so intently that what we hear is simply a piece to the puzzle of understanding what lies deep beneath the words that are being spoken. This means that someone may be saying something to us, however as a practiced listener, we are able to understand that the emotions that lie within the speaker are not being fully conveyed in the words which they are choosing.

As a coach, I have been trained to "see through" the emotion and then continue to ask questions to help a person understand that what they are saying is not fully the truth. This does not mean that they are purposely lying, but that they have suppressed something or are choosing to not reveal something in words because it is simply too difficult to do so.

Have you ever been involved in a conversation with someone who is saying one thing, yet you were able to feel that what they truly wanted to say was being blocked by some emotion? Have you ever asked someone if they are "ok" and their response is "oh yeah, I am fine", yet you know that something is not quite "fine"? This instance is at the very brink of understanding "Level 3" listening. 

One does not have to be a "coach" to be able to "read" that a person is not being fully forthcoming. Simply stop and truly listen to whomever is speaking to you. Deliberately stop yourself from speaking even after the person is finished talking. Take in what has been said, look at their facial expressions, watch their body language and when ready, either respond or ask questions to help them reveal more of what they are feeling.

Can you imagine how another might feel if you actually took the time to not only listen, but also attempted to understand what they are feeling without them even asking? A positive flow of energy is sure to be created along with a deeper sense of trust. Ensuing emotions may need to be worked through, however the proverbial "peeling of the onion skin" will yield growth.

Please realize that Level 3 listening takes practice, attention and sometimes, training. However, the enhancements in relationships that occur are priceless.

 
One step at a time, let us change the world!

Dr Lorri