Expectations

Expectations tend to get in the way of what we really want. We expect others to act, do and/or be a certain way, yet we sometimes fall short of acting, doing or being that way ourselves.

Most often, we are searching for mutual respect, trust or understanding or to experience similar activities or better communication. When any of these do not occur, we begin to blame, wonder or insinuate as to why, rather than ask questions in an attempt to understand. Our expectations lead us to a place of isolation filled with sadness or anger. However, if another is unable to meet these expectations for any reason, it is unfair to automatically assume that they are not doing what we want just to hurt us.

We must begin to understand that each person is on a separate journey. All of us have experiences that allow for independent levels of growth. This means that people learn different things from different experiences. If we expect something from someone and they are unable to give what we expect, it may be because they simply are unable. We may want enhanced communication or to do more outdoor activities or feel more independent in making decisions when the other never really learned to communicate well or was not involved in outdoor activities or has micro managed for many reasons.

It is imperative in all relationships to discuss things that each person enjoys or desires. It is also imperative that all parties be honest in what they can deliver or are unwilling to compromise. All too often, people will downplay what they want and then later become upset because they are not receiving what they expected.

Have you clearly stated your expectations? Are you being realistic in what you are asking? Do you give what is expected of you?

These are very deep questions that need truthful answers. Look inside. Communicate. And then decide if compromise can occur or if the expectations simply cannot be met.

Then all parties involved must decide to let go or hold on.

I have been trained to help people answer these questions!

I am here....

Dr. Lorri